13 thoughts on “Comment Wall

  1. Hi Margaret,
    Wow, your storybook is really lovely. I like your images and color scheme, which are all quite elegant. My only critique is that the enter button does not actually lead to the stories. Is that just because the only one up is the introduction?
    Speaking of the introduction, I thoroughly enjoyed reading it. You do a really good job pulling the reader in. Catherine seems like an interesting character, with a developed personality. I am really intrigued to see how the story goes – there is so much foreshadowing that I hope you are planning to resolve. Why is everyone so tense that day? Is it just the rain? Are the necklace and watch going to come back into play even though she didn’t choose them? Are the stories going to be Catherine’s or the stories of the journal writer? I look forward to continuing to read and find out answers.

    1. Thanks for your comments Emily! I fixed the button on the front page – I knew I forgot to do something when I was working on it the other night!

  2. Hey Margaret!
    I had no idea you were in this class too! It is great to see someone I know in here as well. First off, Wow! Your introduction is amazing. It has so much detail and is so capturing. I honestly felt like I was starting a bestselling book. You did such a great job. I am not sure what era you story is set in, but I get an old vibe. Maybe the 40’s or 50’s? I am not sure what this storybook is going to be about. Maybe the hard times in her life? Will it be more like a diary of some sort? Will it involve a juicy love story? I am so excited to read more and see what will become of this storybook. Your website design does such a good job incorporating a vintage feel with a very crisp and clean modern touch. I cannot wait to read more. Great job!

  3. Hi Margaret!! Your story book website has incredible visual appeal, much like your blog for this course. You clearly have such a knack for designing things of this sort. As for your story itself, it was incredibly entertaining and I thoroughly enjoyed reading it. Your writing style lined up so perfectly with the events that you were writing about and the kind of day that was so vividly described in your piece. The only thing that I couldn’t help but find myself wondering, however, was why Catherine was the way that she is. Maybe you could take one week to write a story of some sort that explains her background and why she feels like there are always eyes on her? I feel like a flashback of sorts to her past would be a really powerful way to enhance the storybook collection as a whole and to give readers an opportunity to really connect on an even deeper level with your lead character.

    I will most definitely have to flag your webpage and come back and read it as the semester goes. I am dying to find out what happens for Catherine, with the journal, and with the idea of her finding love.

  4. Hi! Wow, you have a really nice blog and storybook. You can definitely tell that you have put a lot of time and effort into the project. I like how creative you are in the story. After reading Part One it was really helpful to have the author’s note it allowed for me to connect the dots as to where the story originates from. I think in the introduction it could be helpful to have some more information on the setting and Catherine’s background. I think it would be cool to make one story a diary entry versus telling the story as it happens. Good job!

  5. Hi Margaret! I was drawn to your Storybook purely based on the title. It gave no indication about what I was getting myself into and that was really intriguing to me. I’m glad I did though because your story is amazing! It feels like I’m reading a novel and even though this isn’t the first Storybook I’ve read that has connecting chapters, it’s probably the one done the best. It’s clear that you are really enjoying this project and your source material and that you put a lot of thought into it. I really enjoyed that you combined three different stories to create such an original idea. The journal also seems really interesting and I can’t wait to learn more about the woman who wrote it. Great job and I can’t wait to read more of this!

  6. Hi Margaret!! I am from the Indian Epics course, just visiting and reading your storybook. Firstly, I love how eerie your introduction is. You did really well pulling me into the mysterious aspect of your story. If I had not read your author’s note, I really would not have put two and two together with Rumpelstiltskin and Cinderella. I am not saying that it is a bad thing, but incredibly unique. I can really see Cinderella in your first story as you played the journal entries. Very different and not one I have seen before! Rumpelstiltskin’s aspect really has me intrigued…I almost want to say the man Catherine met is supposed to be him, but I could be wrong. I am also very curious about when and where the time frame of this story is taking place. Maybe you could also add more of Catherine’s background into the story? Unless you will explain how she may relate well to the girl’s character, who wrote in the journal? Really awesome job!

  7. Hi Margaret,
    It’s really cool to see how your story is taking shape! I now understand more how it’s connecting to other stories – at first I wondered if you were going to make everything up 🙂 I am really interested to see how the two stories, Catherine’s and the journal writer’s, will tie together. You’re doing a really good job setting up that Rene is a bad guy yet still someone Catherine might trust. Like a frog in boiling water kind of thing, except hopefully she will get out. Your pictures also really invoke a sort of romantic yet creepy atmosphere. I am really curious about that necklace.
    Also, you still have a standard about box on the home page, and the StoryBook tab just says things will go there. Are you planning to add to it once you’ve got the whole story planned out? I look forward to seeing how the story unfolds!

  8. Hi Margaret! Awesome story! You did a great job! I love the way your site looks. The left banner makes it seem like it’s a real book! The introduction was a little bit eerie, I wasn’t quite sure what was going to happen, which isn’t a bad thing! As I was reading Part 1, the fact that Rene was widowed several times definitely caught my eye…Did he kill his wives!? I’m glad you included an Author’s Note in Part 1. You went into great detail about how you felt and what changes you made, and they were great! I really like how you were able to tie in so many stories into one! Wow, in Part 2, the suspense definitely builds up! I want to know what the lesson to be learned is from the old diary! At the end, I’m left leaving more! There are so many unanswered questions! What happens in the diary? What happens with Rene and Catherine? Great job so far!! I can’t wait to read more!

  9. Hi there Margaret! It’s so nice to meet ya!
    I am surprised that I have not come across your page yet, but I must say that it is very beautifully done. First, your name alone ‘margaretbourlon.com’ makes you sound like a fancy established writer from the UK, so if I am being honest that drew my attention in first haha. The layout of your website is nice and clean, and I think that your visuals go along well with the tone of your stories.
    One thing on your website that I noticed, however, is when I clicked on your introduction tab. I was somewhat expecting it to take me to a personalized page, where you as the author, gave backstory on the character and what the story was going to be about. Maybe changing ‘introduction’ to something more relevant, or even mysterious to match your writing! I will say though, that I really enjoy your style of writing. I mean, it almost sounds like the beginning of a popular novel out today.
    Great job so far, and happy writing!

  10. Hello, Margaret! I just caught myself up on your storybook once again and it is still one of my favorite ones! You have such a creative and beautiful writing style that is so intriguing and always leaves me wanting to come back and find out more every time. You have such a knack for both storytelling and website designing.
    The one thing that I am still curious about is the order that you have your pages set up. I don’t remember being confused about this last time but I thought the order was a little bit strange this time. Is there a particular reason why you have the beginning after part 1 and part 2 on the ordering of your page? Also, I think it might make it more of an attention grabber if you were to give the different segments a name that goes along with what the story is going to be about.
    Other than that, though, your project is still one of my favorites. Great job!

  11. Hey Margaret! I have to say, your stories are so much fun to read! They flow well, the word choice is great, and even the names are lovely to read. I greatly appreciate how in-depth your author’s notes are, yet you don’t give anything away. They make me want to go back and read the source material out of curiosity.
    I love that your Storybook fits into a continuity and follows a set storyline. I think that’s a great tactic to use. I also think you have a flair for suspense! I can’t help but get excited about the final installment from the tension you’ve built with the first two. The only suggestion I have is possibly re-reading passages and watching for repetition, but none of it is anything major or something you’d need to change for clarity. Your stories were very easy to read and also very FUN to read, which I think is extremely important.

  12. Hi Margaret!
    Your storytelling style is kind of similar to my own! I too am taking a lot of creative license and creating my own narrative; you’re doing a fantastic job of that! I can totally see where all the elements of the stories you’re using come into play and the way you weaved all of them together came out very smooth.
    Your chapters are currently out of order on your shortcuts bar, I didn’t know if that was intentional or not. I also thought that knowing a little more about the girl that wrote the journal would be beneficial. Her’s and the main character’s stories felt dis-connected for me while I was reading this.
    I think, for the most part, your stories flowed well. I would suggest putting the parts written in the diary in italics so it looks different from the rest of the text.
    The elements of emotional abuse were very prominent throughout the stories so great job there! And, even though you don’t give a lot of background information about Rene, we still get a great picture of what kind of a person he is.
    This was a great storybook and I look forward to seeing the final product!!

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